A man walked up to a Franciscan and a Jesuit and asked, “How many novenas would I have to do in order to get a Maserati?”
The Franciscan asked, “What’s a Maserati?”
The Jesuit asked, “What’s a novena?”
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A Jesuit and a Franciscan were involved in a car accident. Hurriedly they got out to make sure the other person was OK, each insisting that it was probably his own fault.
Then the Jesuit, very concerned for his fellow religious, said, “You look very badly shaken up. You could probably use a stiff drink.” At that he produced a flask, and the Franciscan, who was indeed a bit shaken up, took it gratefully.
“One more and I’m sure you’ll be feeling fine,” the Jesuit said, and the Franciscan took another. Then the Jesuit took the flask and put it safely away.
“You look a bit shaken up yourself,” the Franciscan said. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a bit?”
The Jesuit replied, “Oh, I certainly will; but I think I’ll wait until after the police arrive.”

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