Steve Ray’s Seven Rules for Dealing with Non-Catholic Family & Friends – Getting ready for Christmas

My Seven Rules for dealing with family and friends who disagree with us, oppose us, want to argue and are against the Catholic Church and our morals. They are basically common sense, but many have found this article to be very helpful. Yes, it was originally Six Rules but I realized “Patience” had to be added as No. 7.

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Cover story on Catholic Answers Magazine

Steve Ray’s Seven Rules:

1) Never argue with them, it will only push them further away.

2) Love them more than ever before, especially between spouses

3) Pray seriously and constantly and make sacrifices

4) Show the Joy of the Lord in your life so they see the result of the fullness of the Faith

5) Study apologetics and do biblical homework so you are ready when they finally ask questions

6) Be patient – God is not in as big a hurry as you are.

7) Ask God to bring someone else into their lives to influence them since they won’t listen to you

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Read the whole article in  Catholic Answers Magazine


This Post Has 16 Comments

  1. nathaniel fernandes

    Thanks for the 6-tips which i see is taken from your baptist upbringing. I will use it to win Catholics to Christ and out from the RC Church. It will add to the list of 5 Catholics I’ve already sucessfully evangelized them out of the RC Church. Keep the tips coming 🙂

  2. Joe Wetterling

    How would you modify these (would you?) for talking to a Catholic family member that’s non-Catholic in some particular practice or requirement (say, contraception, the Church’s marital practices, attending Mass, etc.)?

  3. Jody

    Those six tips could just as easily have been taken from a Catholic upbringing.

  4. Sue from Buffalo

    The best thing I ever did was become Catholic.

  5. chris Aday

    I am a Christian non Catholic. I try to be very accepting. However when I am at a Catholic wedding and Communion starts and the Preist informs me I am not welcome to take it because I am not Catholic I want to just leave and never come back!!!!

    1. Catherine S

      We believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist that we receive. We are the only Christian faith that believes that. So, if you were to receive Communion and say Amen you are agreeing to the belief that Jesus is truly present in that host. It is not just a nice gesture or a commemoration, we believe that that is Christ’s body. Perhaps you can see now why we need to make it very clear that non-Catholic Christians cannot partake of this sacrament,
      I had a spiritual awakening in a 12 Step program and realized that if I were going to be a Catholic then I better start being an all in Catholic and not just a Sunday and Holyday Catholic. I now have a personal relationship with God that I never imagined would be possible. I have joy in my heart!

  6. Tom Skalman

    Well Nathanael — me Jean Baptiste — how nice of you to troll here spreading your superior knowledge of scripture!

  7. Bob D

    @Chris it is actually out of love that you are not allowed to receive the Eucharist. Even a practicing Catholic must be in a state of grace to receive. If you have sinned you go to confession for forgiveness. The Catholic Church while holding some of our beliefs in common with other christian denominations have very big differences. Confession is one, we also believe that the Eucharist is actually the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ, not a symbol. I hope you are aware of the differences. An analogy is when you vist a friends house you don’t open the fridge and help yourself to whatever you want. Common courtesy means you respect the host and ask before you help yourself. I pray that one day we will be one Christian, Catholic and Apostolic Church. God bless.

  8. Tom Govern

    I have a fallen away Mormon son. The suggestions are being followed, but I could really use some extra prayers. I know that God will show him the way but I would really like to live to see it!

  9. Hochiminh Lol

    Hi Nathaniel,
    I was eitheist , working with many Protestants many years. I can tell you now, you can’t handle rule#1 as they lost me at argument. They always make themselves right. I hate. After many years soul searching, finding only one Truth staying in Catholic church. Im falling in love smoothly with the transition to the church. I love JESUS,Mary, saints, Pop, priests, nuns, Eucharist,everything. I pray you open your eyes and your heart to seek truth.

  10. Nathaniel Fernandes

    Hi Hochiminh,
    Thanks for your comments. I am amused at the words eitheist/pop. But nevetherless, you are sincere to pray for me to seek the truth. I pray for you too … as your surname suggests : Lol = “Laugh out Loud” 🙂

  11. Bud Wilson

    Steve …
    Your thoughts have a much broader appeal … your rules are applicable to our relationships with others … just think how well we would get along if we practiced the behaviors in the six rules that you have identified … life would be grand! Thanks for sharing them …

  12. Dan v

    your hatred for the Catholic Church like all other protestants just proves how True the Catholic Church is. why would you take pride in tempting people away from The Church I feel sorry for you.
    if you are truly a Christian you would want to be as close to Christ as you possibly could be wouldn’t you? well I get to receive Our Blessed Lord every sunday, you don’t get much closer than that…
    you think we are missing out? I beg to differ.

  13. Julie

    Nathaniel, I have a question. If I became a Baptist, would I be as mean as you? Yipes!

  14. Lissa

    Nathaniel, please tell your fallen away Catholic friends to go back to their Catholic faith. If that is where they started that is where they need to return. And please, when you join the Catholic Church in the future, please bring with you the five you just mentioned above.

  15. Poor Knight

    Hey Steve, I’ve been asked to speak to at a conference on how Catholic spouses can talk to their non-Catholic spouses about the Catholic faith. Provided I cite the source do you mine if I use these and expound on them?
    God Bless and I’ll see you at Eso Vir in Wisconsin in March!
    Nate Stevens
    NATE: STEVE RAY HERE. Please feel free to use my article. You can read the whole thing here:

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